Church-enabled Singleness - Part 1

Pew Internet and American Life Project just released a survey on the state of relationships in American. It reports that only 22% of singles ages 18-29 are actively looking for a romantic partner. The rest, I suppose, fall somewhere between "currently involved" and "satisfied with hooking-up."

The intentional delay of marriage has been the subject of growing media attention over the last few years and culimnated with last year's Time Magazine article about "twixters," adult aged kids who refuse to grow up. The data shows that in one generation's time, the number of single adults has doubled. Many sociologists assert that the shift is permanent and society should simply accept this new reality and adjust accordingly. Apparently, churches agree.

When the single segment began to grow within churches in the late '80s and early '90s, singles ministry "how to" books began to pop-up and to a fault began affirming the single lifestyle. In two such books, Starting a Single Adult Ministry and Single Adult Ministry: The Next Step, the main emphasis is to "recognize that the single lifestyle" is the appropriate option to being married.

"What's the problem?" you may ask. "We don't want to treat singles as second class citizens becaue they aren't married." No certainly, we do not. However, the problem with church-enabled singleness is that it ignores what Dr. Alber Mohler has characterized as "the societal wreckage" caused by prolonged singleness:

• Years and years of sexual frustration, often leading to sexual sin (read What are you waiting for?)
• Increased infertility as couples marry after their peak fertility years
• Difficulty merging adult patterns of behavior within marriage that were established living much of their adult lives as individuals

Dr. Mohler exhorts young adults to think of marriage, not as something that's out there somewhere on the horizon, but as one of the nearest responsibilities they now face. After all, rarely does marriage just happen.